Lately I have been putting more effort into being present in the moment.  It seems easy enough but I have a longstanding habit of obsessive thinking and a mind that likes to wander, and sometimes its a struggle.  

The practice of avoiding the current moment actually did serve a useful purpose for me when I was growing up.  First, it allowed me to tolerate unpleasant situations over which I had no control, like when my mom was having a particularly bad day with her delusions.  I would sit barracaded in my room, daydreaming and drawing pictures of what I wanted to look like when I grew up and where I would live, or pretending to be Cher.  As time went by, I learned how to “read the room” and spent a great deal of energy trying to avoid danger and imagining what could happen depending on my mom’s mood.  This pattern evolved into feeling guilty about what I may have done to…